Getting Deep

Ok people were getting deep over here today at life as a candy cane! 

I don't generally discuss issues on here that are deep or what not, because I like to keep it light and fun on here. But I know the last few posts have been kinda depressing, so I am plunging head long into something that has been on my heart for a while now. 

I'm a southern gal, who loves the Lord with all heart and her family, but lately thats not enough. I feel like I have this hole in my heart and no matter what I do I cannot fill it. So the backstory to this goes a little something like this, I have been in the same church just about my entire life and have absolutely loved it! I was always very involved with the children's church, then the youth. I did drama, praise team, choir, dance and was on the leadership board. I was always doing something and was always with my friends doing it in a good, wholesome environment. So when I graduated high school and went to college I became a drama leader with the youth and became a youth sponsor and absolutely loved it! Well about 2 years ago that all changed. My pastor retired and his son took over and everything changed, my life was forever impacted and I felt completely lost. 

So we decided to move on to another church, as I am the only child living at home and am a little shy of being on my own, I went with my parents to our new church. This has been a nice move and we enjoy it, but its not the same. A lot of our old congregation has moved on to our new church as well, but its still kinda weird. There are a lot of older ppl and not many my age. I have a few friends who go there, but there all married and some have kids already, while i'm single and have no kids, so I don't really fit in. I have considered going back to my old church but dunno what to do.

So, now we haven't been to church in several weeks, with all the holidays, being sick, being out of town and just not going. Which is very odd, because growing up we always went and now even my dad hasn't been going. I feel lost and without a home now, I feel like I don't belong to my old church anymore or the new one. My relationship with the Lord is suffering for it as well. I am unsure of what to do about it though, I don't where to go now. I have always had this amazing church family and friends and now i'm stuck with no one and I don't know how to cope. 

I am not sure why I am writing about this but I felt I needed to for somebody. I do not claim to have it all together, but I felt like I use to and now i'm essentially alone. That is why I wrote my post on being lonely the other day and I think a lot of these feelings stem from this. I bought a new devotional for the year and have just started on it and it seems to be helping me out a lot, I encourage you to read and do devotionals in the morning to get your day started off right! 

So music is like medicine to my soul as is reading, so lately I have really been pouring my head full of christian music and today I came across a couple of songs I want to share with y'all! I listened to them and all of my negative feelings and loneliness seem to just subside and I remember that my God is always with me no matter what church I go to, no matter how lonely I am in this life, no matter how much I struggle, and no matter how many times I need to be encouraged and have his arms wrapped around me. I have many revelations when I just sit still and listen for Him in the little things of life. Right now I am sitting on the couch, listening to music, with the tv off and no distractions and I feel immense peace and contentment.

I'm not really sure what the meaning of this post is, but I just felt the need to put it out there and let whoever may read this that you are not alone and never will be because there is a God that loves you more than you know and wants a relationship with you. He will be that friend that you need when no one else is around, that hug that no one else can possibly give, that all consuming peace that nothing in this world will ever give you! I am here if you any of you ever need me and I mean that with all my heart! 

Now I leave you with some videos of my favorite songs!

Meredith Andrews - Your Not Alone

Britt Nicole - Walk on the Water

Sidewalk Prophets - The Words I Would Say

Skillet - Hero

  Ok thats enough for now because I know this is super long, buts that ok because it's my blog and I wanted to write it! I love y'all very much and hope that if your day is looking down that this will cheer you up!

Confessions

Ok so first off I wanna say that I am a little perturbed, I lost a follower today. I mean I know I haven't been blogging like I normally do, but come on really? I mean to just completely dislike me like that is so not cool. 

Anyways, I am going to be really honest with y'all tonight well by the time y'all read this it will be tomorrow. Any who, I am having a really bad day and I am going to let you in on a little secret, its about me. After reading Nicole's post today I feel I need to be transparent with y'all about this crazy life i'm living. I like Nicole have been a good little girl my whole life and I am feeling the effects of it more than ever this week. 

I had dinner with my bestie tonight, she is absolutely one of my best friends and I have known her literally my entire life and well she knows me well. Anyways, we haven't seen each other in forever because she is a school teacher and i'm a nurse and she's married and i'm terminally single. Well we finally made it tonight and I basically bared my soul to her and I haven't done that with anyone in forever! 

I like Nicole have made it a point to make everyone think that I am ok, well newsflash i'm not and I don't know what to do about it. I finally came clean to my bestie and she made me feel about the same really, I felt better for getting it out but I also didn't feel better. She is going through a lot also and neither one of us could fix any of it. Our lives are spiraling out of control and we can't fix it. Mine is terminal singleness and loneliness and her's is boring life and adult worries and a few others. 

I dont really know where i'm going with this post but I just needed to get it out there. I am not always alright and I am the girl who puts on the fake smile and tells everyone that I am ok. Well from now on I am going to work on it. I have run off my friends with this kind of acting and from now on I am going to be honest about how I am doing, but not too honest all the time. 

So I am so sorry about all my ramblings on, but this is my blog so I just had to put it out there how I am feeling and hopefully tomorrow when I go work a 12 hr shift I will feel better about life. Again sorry about the ramblings and if it doesn't make sense which i'm sure ti doesn't

Bad Blogger

Ok so I know I have been a bad blogger lately and I am so sorry! I haven't been linking up with any of you other bloggers like I normally do and I haven't been responding to emails. 


I am so sorry that I have been MIA lately. I started my new job last week and have been completely immersed into it. I am not really sure how blogging fits into all of this. I have been working crazy hours and worked my very first weekend after only working 2 days!! (can you say insane!!!!!) Anyways, I am just not sure how y'all do it everyday? I dunno how to integrate my work life, personal life, and blog life into one? I haven't been reading blogs or commenting on anything in over a week!!!! 


I would love some info on how to do it all from those of y'all out there that do it! Please help so I can continue my blog and not feel so bad about not being here :(


I promise to try to be a better blogger and friend, I will try to start blogging more often!


I truly love and enjoy hearing from each and everyone of you! I miss keeping up with everyone! Please keep reading even if it is sporadic!


So goes the life of a new nurse!

First Day!

Ok so today was my first day at my "big girl job" and I had a fabulous time! The people are super sweet and very helpful. I managed to get the EMR system pretty quickly and was triaging patients in no time! I have to work all weekend so I am looking forward to learning more and doing more over the weekend! This post is gonna be short, because I am super tired! Just wanted to let everyone know that my first day, exceeded my expectations and was very good! I am officially a practicing nurse and I love it!

Week 1 Day 1

So today begins my workout regimen and overall new lifestyle! I am very happy to be finally doing this. I have been in better shape before and was exercising and losing weight great!  I had lost about 30 pounds and I was loving life and then I got into nursing school and BAM! It all came back and more!

I am fixing to start my brand new big girl job sometime this week, hopefully! I am super excited, but this is my push to start losing weight! So I have signed up with myfitnesspal and have began the Couch25K program. It monitors my food intake, my exercise progress, and my water intake. I am very happy to have help with through this program. If anybody else has any other good programs to try let me know! I am trying to make a lifestyle change not a diet. My mom has diabetes and we do not know where she got it from, bc she was not overweight, so we think it may be genetic and that is not comforting. I need to make a lifestyle change to lower my chances of getting it. So I am working my butt off, literally, and figuratively to lower my chances as much as possible. 

Ok onto happier topics, I have got some new clothes for my new job! All I need now is some new shoes to top it off!

Anyways, check back with me each week for an update on my progress!

If anyone else is doing anything similar let me know and we can encourage each other!

oh here are some funny pics now!

So this is me now!

This is how I feel running!

How I feel when doing weights!

What i'm gonna look like!

Have a great day!

New

Drumroll please...............................................................................

I just got my First NURSING JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am officially a Big Girl & now I gotta go buy me some "big girl panties" 

I am so excited! I have been praying for the right job to come along and today the Lord delivered! Hallelujah!! 

Thats why I haven't been around today, bc I was at an interview! 

So lets Party!!

Jury Duty

Ok so I am not here today,  I am at jury duty. I am kinda excited about it because I have never done it before and also because I get to read a book all day (I am such a nerd)! So I will leave you all with some pics! Have a great day and I will check ya later!

haha I love this, its so me!

LOVE

What my room looks like

happens all the time!

So true

I love this and believe its true!

Love

haha what I need this week!

So true!

haha

Must

This is so what I do

Have a great day!

Sometimes and Always

So today I am linking up with the super sweet and fabulous Megan for another addition of Sometimes and Always! I have had a lot of blogger to say they wanna do this so come on over and join us!

Sometimes: I wanna run away from home and go live somewhere completely different
Always: I know I will miss my family and don't do it

Sometimes: I wish that I was still close with some of my old friends
Always: remember that I have amazing friends now and if those ppl want to be apart of my present its there choice bc I have tried and now its their call

Sometimes: I wish I could pick out a movie without so much difficulty!
Always: I either just decide to watch tv or read a book

Sometimes: I wish that life would stop throwing me curve balls
Always: know that the curveballs make me stronger!

Sometimes: I really wanna change my hair style!
Always: can't decide what I wanna do with it and keep it the same

So I promise I will be a better blogger from now on I have just had so much going on!

Good News

Hello my bloggy friends, do you remember who I am? Lol of course you do I am the nut from Life as a Candy Cane! So today I am going to explain to you the reason for the name! 


But first please pray for me tomorrow, bc I am going to meet the owner of this new clinic that I am hoping to get a job at! She called me today and told me to come in for a callback and she is pretty positive, so she wants me to meet the owner while she is in town! I am super excited! I hope it goes well! I will let y'all know something when I know something!




So it all started when my bff Lisa saw my angry and fiesty not so nice side and the name was born. So as you know my name is Candace, so she began to call me CandyCane after seeing my not so nice side. She said that my red side was the fiesty, sassy, sarcastic side and the white side was my innocent, sweet, and nice side. SO from then on I was known as candy cane, it eventually moved on to Cane. 

So I cannot find any pics of me and my bestie at the moment so when I can I will upload one!


So I know this post is kinda lame and spazy, but hey we all have our off days!

Bad Blogger

So I know I have been a bad blogger lately and I promised I would do better and I will starting on monday! So for now here is a cute quote that I liked!


I love you all and miss you and I promise I will be a better blogger!

I'm Back!

Ok bloggy friends I am back! Do you remember me? Do I need to reintroduce myself to little ole blog? 
Ok so I know I have been MIA for awhile, but its with good reason, I promise! I have each and everyone of you so much and have spent the last 2 days trying to catch up with everyones NYE, resolutions, and lookback posts! Let me just tell y'all I have read some interesting and fabulous blogs looking back on 2011! But anyways I am back now and will begin blogging again regularly from now on!


So here begins the over view of the past couple of weeks:


So the week before Christmas I had my cousin Steph, alex (4), and liam (6months) at our house with us. That weekend was Christmas, where we had even more family come into our house for the weekend! Around Thursday of that week I started getting sick again! Both of the kids were sick when they got here, so inadvertently I got sick again. Sunday night my granny started getting really sick, by monday morning it was into full blown mode. 


Everyone left our house monday morning and we were glad to get everything back to a sembience of normal. Alex stayed with us, bc we had to drive to Florida the next weekend and take him home. My granny continued to get sicker and sicker and I did too. I went to the doctor on Tuesday and got me some good meds and learned I was getting sick so much because I have a blockage in my sinus cavity. So, now I have made an appt with my ENT to see what we can do about this!. Granny kept deteriorating by the hour and we were getting ready to to take her to the ER, but then her doc called her in some meds and we thought she would get better, but by Wednesday morning she looked like death and sounded like it. So at about noon we got her up and took her to the ER, she was admitted with pneumonia and a viral infection and a kidney infection. She was very, very sick!


Meanwhile, my little cousin was at the house so I stayed with him while my mom and dad went to the hospital with her for the next 2 days. On friday we had to leave to go to Florida, because my aunt was getting married on New Years Day. So we left my daddy here with my granny and he brought her home from the hospital. We drove to FL and begin the craziness of wedding preperations! We were able to stay in our own little apartment, thanks to my aunts fabulous landlord! Friday we shopped for dresses, ate dinner, and met new family members. Saturday we went and had manis and pedis! Then to lunch with the bridal party. That night was the rehersal dinner and NYE. Lets just say my date was a 6 month old and we were asleep before 12. Sunday was the wedding and it was craziness! My cousin and her husband were late to the wedding and reception, and she was the one walking my aunt down the aisle, can you say drama! The wedding was nice and the reception went good. We were all ready for bed by 7 pm. My mom was asleep by 8 and I went to my aunts house and watched movies while no one was home and then my cousins come over and we played some games. On monday we left and come and home to sleep!


So needless to say it has been a crazy couple of weeks in my house! and now everyone in my house is sick :(  I am ready for everyone to be well! My granny is feeling better and slowly regaining strength. I am in job looking mode major and seriously need to find one soon! I have an interview on friday, so hopefully something will come of that! My dad told me today that he thinks the Lord has the perfect job and it just hasn't been his timing yet and I agree whole-heartedly! Because I have been praying for a really good job and I know the Lord is preparing the way for me! 


Ok so I know I rambled on alot without any pics, but I felt it was ok since y'all haven't heard from me in so long!


ps. can someone tell me how I can make a button for myself or someone who I can get to make me one? 


pss. can someone tell me how to link my pinterest pics onto my blog? I can't seem to get it to work right!